Too many choices

You walk into a Cheesecake Factory restaurant to meet your friends for someone's 28th birthday dinner.  The teenage hostess guides all five of you to a table, and hands you your menus one by one smiling a faux grin as she says, "enjoy your meal".  You small chat with everyone for a few minutes, and then gain the courage to open the menu, discovering it is one hundred pages. There is a section for everyone's cravings: Chinese, Italian, Japanese, Mexican, American salads, soups, sandwiches, pizza, etc, etc.......and cheesecakes.  You have begun the daunting task of choosing what you want.  And at first you are really excited.  "Wow! They have everything here!", you say enthusiastically to the person next to you, as you search frantically through the menu in disbelief.  You are automatically overwhelmed with the sheer weight of choices in front of you.  "What am I looking for?", you ask yourself.  "What do I really want".  After a few minutes, panic sets in.  What if you make the wrong decision.  And you know what you really want is too expensive.  That cheeseburger sound so good, but it isn't healthy. You begin to seek the advice of your peers.  "What are you getting?", you ask them, as you continue fervently flipping through the pages.  Your eyes are glued to your menu, afraid that you might miss something if you don't skim through all your options.

As you tear your eyes off your menu towards a friend- you are surprised by your friend's seemingly self-assured response: "the caesar salad...what I always get".  It kind of annoys you. How is he that sure of himself? You notice that your friends are taking different approaches to navigating through this labyrinth of a menu.

• Some keep the menu closed: they would prefer to stick with what they know is good than risk experiencing a new dish they don't like as much. 
• Others limit their options by selecting only the "salads" section, and working within the healthy realm which is comforting and smart.  
• Then there are those who figure it out really quickly. She says, "I'm taking the orange chicken", as she snaps her menu closed in front of her to avoid any further choices she could be confronted with while continuing to flip through pages of the menu.  Her decision is made.  
• The friend besides her claims he has decided as well, "yeah, I'm going to get the shrimp scampi".  Yet, as he hears his other friend across the table fretting in panic whether she should get the "thai salad" or the "macaroni and cheese"- he realizes he might want to change his mind.  He is easily persuaded by what his friends are saying and he feels forced to reopen the menu, with doubt that he may be wrong.  
• And then there's you.  Overwhelmed with decisions and the fear of making the wrong one, you stop for a second and think about what you really want.  You want chicken fingers.  You search in the menu for chicken fingers but they are nowhere to be found.  The waitress is at your table taking orders and you don't know what to get.  You settle for the "sesame chicken and rice" that was under your nose as it was your turn to order.  You sigh and mumble to yourself, "oh well".

Does this experience remind you of anything?

It is overwhelming to have so many choices.  We are bombarded by so many perspectives on how we should be living our lives, that we forget the very essence of living.  Just like those who open a large menu forget the very purpose of eating.  Life does not have to be so complicated, but it has become that way.  The cultural expectation of "finding your purpose" and "achieving your potential" has left many 20 and 30 somethings in a state of paralysis, feeling under accomplished, confused, and afraid. There is a term: "first world problems".

We feel afflicted by material possessions, social pressure, and career obligations.  We feel guilty for feeling this way.  We know we are fortunate. We should be happy. We have a whole menu of life in front of us with options we could contemplate for years.  Yet, we are overwhelmed and unsatisfied, at times even wishing to experience the lives of those in a third world country.  So many people from first world countries visit those less fortunate simply to gain perspective in their own life.  To be reminded of what life is all about.

So, in the 21st century of technological and social advancements that have brought us so much more freedom, awareness, and insight- we are burdened with too many choices.  The choices of where to live, who to work for, who to marry, whether to have children, what to invest in, how to dress..... and it is all too much to think about.

We have forgotten how to think simply.

We have forgotten how to live.

Choices do not have to be a bad thing.  They are a great thing. If we learn how to cope with them.


To be continued...